I got memed by Debra Broughton absolutely ages ago. Sorry, Debra, that it’s taken me so long. Okay. Here are 8 things (apart from it takes me ages to get round to doing these things).
By the way, this meme reminds me of Three Things About Me by Aliya Whiteley, so in honour of Aliya, one of the things below is a lie. A prize to the first person who correctly identifies the lie (sorry Aliya, I’m nicking your idea).
1. I used to have elocution lessons when I was a kid. I come from oop north, you see, and my parents thought it would be a handicap in life having a northern accent. My dad wanted me to be a newsreader. The lessons were given by a gentleman called Mr Heap, who smoked cigarettes with a holder. Very sophisticated. I can almost remember one of the exercises, ‘My father’s car is a Jaguar and Pa drives rather fast. Past drafty barns and something farms pa goes whizzing past….’
2. Also from my childhood, I have my Silver Blades certificate for ice skating. I used to be able to do all sorts of stuff, including going backwards, even had my own skates. Then I didn’t do it for years and years and years and the first time I went on the ice as an adult I was petrified and rubbish.
3. Again from my childhood, I used to go potholing and quite enjoyed it, though I was always relieved to get out. I have never felt tempted to give it a go as an adult.
4. I have long nails on my right hand and short nails on my left. Good for finger pickin’ on the guitar. I have a guitar but I rarely play it these days. I keep my nails trimmed to the requisite lengths just in case.
5. When I was at University my room was next door to that woman off the Late Show, Alison Pearson. You know the one who wrote that book, I Don’t Know How She Does It. That’s the title of the book, by the way, not a comment on her achievements, which are considerable nonetheless.
6. I drink a lot of coffee. In fact, my coffee-drinking habit provides my family with a theme when it comes to present buying. I have received coffee scented notebooks, coffee tins, coffee mugs, coffee coasters, coffee T-shirts, coffee clips and, um, coffee.
7. I once met the actress who voices Wendy in Bob The Builder and got her to ‘talk Wendy’ to me.
8. In my twenties I was quite often mistaken for Timmy Mallett by little kids.
Okay. So which one is the lie? A prize of a vintage, collectable copy of the sorely missed literary magazine Metropolitan, which also happens to contain one of my short stories goes to the first commenter to spot the lie.
Oh, and I think I have to nominate some more people. Not sure how many but I imagine it might be 8. Apologies if you've already been done...
Steve Augarde, Matt Curran, Fiction Bitch (The Tart of Fiction), Samantha Grosser, Lucy McCarraher, Nik's blog, Cate Sweeney, Charlie Williams