Thursday, June 18, 2009

Overheard in Somerfield

He was wearing camouflage shorts and a pastel vest. What was strange was how calm, how natural, how easy within himself he was. He was not at all abashed, or agitated. He spoke clearly so that there could be no misunderstanding. He didn't seem to mind that everyone in Somerfield could hear his half of the mobile phone call: “Just push her out then lock the door. Right? If she comes back don’t let her back in. Try not to let the police in if they turn up. Just turn out the lights and don’t let on there’s anyone in. But don’t resist arrest... if they do get in, don’t resist arrest. No, listen. I know you. That’ll only make it worse. If they arrest you, don’t cause any trouble. I know you. I’m serious. It’ll be worse if it gets to court. You could end up in jail. No seriously, don’t resist arrest. That’s big trouble that, mate. Don’t cause trouble. All right?”

He bought a Ginsters meat pasty. No petrol. Just that. "Do you want a bag?" asked the woman serving. "No, I'm going to eat it now," he replied.


Jamie Mason said...

I love this. People are so weird.

Tom Saunders said...

Flippin' lawyers.