Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Write any book in 28 days, or your money back.

That's right. In just 28 days, working one hour a day, you could write a complete book, from idea to manuscript.

It says so here. It must be true, because it's on the internet.

What's more, it's 100% GUARANTEED.

The method works for FICTION books and non-fiction books.

Click the link and you'll find out more about MASTER WRITER Nick Daws:

Living in his luxurious English home, Nick Daws has been a full-time writer for over 12 years. He enjoys a life of holidaying with his beautiful wife, playing his part as a regional celebrity, and occasionally putting finger to keyboard to write another book.

As the copy goes on to point out:

Those that write books stand out from the crowd. Those that write best-selling books become famous.

Can't help feeling Nick must have been in a bit of a hurry when he wrote those two sentences, but never mind. This man has written 30 best sellers in the last 3 years alone. That's ten bestsellers a year, or one best seller every 28 days with two months off for holidaying with his beautiful wife. SO THE SYSTEM REALLY DOES WORK!

One of the well-guarded secrets it promises to reveal is:

How to only ever write in FIVE MINUTE segments, so you never lose interest!

Mmm. I wonder if the secret there is to only ever write in five minute segments, so you never lose interest? Can't be sure though, so I'd better send the money off.

I can't wait to get the course, so I can hurry up and finish my current wip and get on with holidaying with my beautiful wife. I'm looking forward to standing out from the crowd too.


Dr Ian Hocking said...

It's the 'Living in his luxurious home...' that I like. I bet earlier drafts were 'Accustomed to travelling on a sedan chair carried by his army of vervet monkeys...' or 'From his steam-powered Zeppelin hovering over the north pole...'

Good luck to him.

Anonymous said...

Er, so how come I've never heard of him?
Like Ian, I appreciated that quot, but I also appreciated this one: "Those that write books stand out from the crowd. Those that write best-selling books become famous."
Is that everyone's motivation then, to become famous? What a sad thought.

Roger Morris said...

Hi Ian and cfr,

My favourite quote (well, it's hard to pick one as there are so many gems) is this one:

"Have you ever imagined walking into Barnes & Noble and seeing a shelf full of your own books?

Of course, earlier that day the store had two shelves full, but you're a fast-selling author.

You watch as people wander in and eagerly pick up a copy. They read the introduction. They giggle at your wit. They point out a good point to a nearby friend. Soon, readers throughout the country take your book to the counter and purchase. They're smiling. So is your bank manager."

Tara72 said...

Who would want to write a book in 28 days? Except for Jack Kerouac of course...

Roger Morris said...

Tara, Barbara Cartland springs to mind. Indeed she is mentioned, perhaps unwisely, in their copy as a role model.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the laugh Roger. I needed one!

The book can clearly be improved upon. No decent author, well aware of the need for marketing, would simply stand and watch. They'd be in there signing copies in a flash, suggesting "Would you like one personally dedicated for your great aunt as well as your own copy, your cousin's and the ones for your best mates for Christmas?" They'd be wearing a T shirt emblazoned with a pic of the cover and words in big letters: "I'm the author!" The back of the T shirt would give the author's website and/or blog addy and the author would never entertain sitting down to hide that fact.

I suspect a busy bestselling author may have a luxurious home but find little time to enjoy it!

Anonymous said...

I believe that Simenon wrote most of his novels in 14 days or less.

Of course, that was back in the days when you could get prescriptions for Benzedrine or other amphetamines with no more than a casual visit to your doctor. (Perhaps that's the guaranteed secret in this fellow's method--maybe he can steer us to a good dealer.)

Dr Ian Hocking said...

This just gets better every time I read it. It works on so many levels.